Well the time has come. I don't think she will make it through the night. I actually didn't expect her to still be here when I got up this morning. I was wrong about not being emotional about it. I am very emotional about it.
Mostly, my emotion comes from a deep sense of love, respect and gratitude over her life. She has been one of the most faithful women I have ever known. She emigrated from Sweden as a young woman because she knew it would be her best chance of marrying in the temple. She lived her whole life to be worthy of the temple and had such faith in the covenants that are made there. She wanted all of her family to enjoy these temple blessings and to really truly understand them and respect them.
One of my favorite memories of my grandmother is a sleepover she hosted for all of her granddaughters. I remember being so excited to have a special sleepover with all of my cousins and when we all got into our pajamas I remember my grandmother coming down the stairs and joining us in red sik pajamas. I remember thinking how beautiful those pajamas were and how I wanted to be like my grandmother. She gathered all of us together and spoke of the temple and how she wanted all of us to have the opportunity to be married in the temple some day. She talked about being prepared to go to the temple and to make sure we were modest in our dress. She hoped that we would all wear beautiful wedding dresses with long sleeves so that we wouldn't have to have our dresses altered in any way when we went in to be married. She told us about how when she was married she didn't know anything about the temple and bought a dress that was modest but needed long sleeves to be added to it when she went in to be married and how she had wished she had had something that would have been temple ready. I remember looking at magazine pages of beautiful gowns all with long sleeves and high neck lines and dreaming about being married in one of those beautiful white dresses. I promised her that I would be married in a dress that would be ready for the temple, needing no alterations. When the time came and I went to go pick out a wedding dress of my own I set out to find a dress with long sleeves that was perfectly temple ready. We found a beautiful dress, one that I knew my grandmother would have just LOVED. We added full length sleeves to the dress and it was absolutely perfect. It felt wonderful to be in the temple and not need any adjustments made. I remember one of the temple workers helping me and when I had the dress on, looking at me and telling me just how beautiful I was in my perfectly temple ready dress and I felt like it is what my grandmother would have told me had she been able to come.
The dress inspired by my grandmother.
My grandmother was a great example of service. Being the wife of a leader in the church, a faithful visiting teacher and a missionary, her life was spent giving and serving others. She was always looking to give and something that goes through my mind regularly is something she always used to say, "you can't give yourself poor". I thought of this just today as the bishop in our ward expressed a need in our ward to send missionaries out on their missions and asked for help from the members to give to the ward missionary fund. I sat there crying because I knew that I didn't have even $5 to give to the bishop to help send our wards worthy young men out on their missions. I can have ALWAYS been able to find a couple of dollars here or there to give but not this month. Then something came to mind and I knew that we did have something that we could give. We came home and were preparing our donation and those words came into my mind, "you can't give yourself poor." I am so grateful for her example of charity and generosity, it gives me strength in times like this.
My grandmother also felt it was important to teach all of her family about honesty and often told the story of my great grandfather who would not accept more money than his car was worth even when it was offered to him. This was during the depression when times we very tough, but money was not as important as his integrity. I have always remembered this story and tried to be honest in all my dealings and often tell myself that NOTHING is worth giving up my integrity.
One last memory I want to preserve is my grandmothers love of music. She loved to hear me sing and at one time even sent some money to my mother so that I could have a few voice lessons. I was so humbled by that and felt so loved.
I love my Grandma Morgan so much. I will teach my children about the importance of the temple, of the blessings of service and giving, of being honest, loving and kind using her great example. I owe so much of my faith in Christ to her. She raised my mother to have faith in Christ and to serve Him and that is how my mother raised me. I hope that I can do the same for my children.
This is how I remember my Grandma.
I am amazed by her faith. I am encouraged by her love of the Lord and His gospel. I am inspired by her goodness. I am humbled by her dedication to her family. One day I hope to leave a legacy such as hers behind for my children and grandchildren.