This blog is about me changing. I have met so many amazing women in my life and have been so inspired by them. I want to be like that. I feel like I am looking down a long road but it is the most important road of my life. I am a new wife and now a mother. If there is ever a time to change it is now...

2.02.2012

Never Felt So Alive

I haven't felt so alive in SO LONG (way too long)!

I got dressed today. I did my hair and put on some make up and everything!
I cleaned my whole house. I did laundry and folded it and put it away too!
Even though I was tired I turned off the T.V. and searched for "clues" with Freddy and did a little project with him as well.
I fed my family dinner and did the dishes
I made a meal plan for the coming week and a grocery list.
I got to rock BOTH of my boys to sleep and hold them and snuggle them and love love love them.
Now I'm about to snuggle up with my love to watch one of the movies on our list of non-rated R Oscar nominated movies.

It just feels so good to be able to move and to feel motivation...to accomplish something...to serve.

I didn't sleep very well last night. The baby didn't sleep great and my husband was going crazy in his sleep last night and so between the two of them I got up this morning and felt like I wouldn't be able to make it through the day. I told myself, "this will be the day you just turn on the T.V. and let Freddy do whatever he wants. You just take care of the baby and try to get in some sleep whenever he sleeps."

I did turn on the T.V. for Freddy and gave him dry cereal with a cup of milk for breakfast. The baby was fed and happy so I just decided to do one thing. The one thing I have been wanting to be done for days and days....pick up my room. I decided that if I did just that one thing then I really wouldn't have to feel guilty about doing anything else on a day that I was oh so tired. So I picked up my room. I put away clothes and made my bed and even reorganized my drawers. Aaaahhh....it felt so good. So I just kept going and kept going. Every time I accomplished something more it was that much more energizing. I couldn't believe myself as I was mopping my kitchen floor! Oh my goodness! The joy that filled me as I vacuumed out my couch!

I realize that it is sad that doing normal motherly/wifely duties can make me feel so wonderful but things have been so incredibly rough this past year. I haven't been able to have days like this....normal days, for almost a year. I remember when I was "fine" having days where I was so bored by my life that I felt so annoyed at doing the dishes, at having to vacuum......making dinner...again....blah.

I know I'll probably have days like that again but today I am so grateful to feel alive and well. I hope I have many more of these days much more often.

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