Excerpts From a Love Letter cont.

Our anniversary started out sweet and romantic just like you saw yesterday. Then it quickly turned into a stink-pot. Lots of tears, lots of emotion (not the good kind), lots and lots of stress and it seemed as if the day would never end.

But it did end. It ended early....I'm used to Burgess getting home between 8:30 and 9 every night. Yesterday he got home about 7! It was awesome. We had thought about going out to dinner at one of our fav Indian restaurants (since we'll be leaving all this glorious Indian food and culture behind when we move to Utah) but by that time I was still in my PJ's, I still felt dried tears on my face and I didn't get to eat my lunch until just a couple hours earlier so I wasn't exactly going to be able to savor my Lamb Tikka Masala the way I wanted to for the last time. Burgess said it would be fine to just eat left overs (cause yeah...I wasn't doing any cooking today either...except for that last batch of cookie dough I baked during nap time.....and ate during nap time....).

Just as soon as he was diving into a bowl of delicious tofu and vegetable stir fry it started POURING the rain....the thunder started to rumble as the dark cloud boiled above and flashes of lightening filled our living room. I took Freddy and Burgess took his tofu and we all went downstairs and sat in the doorway of our building. We embraced the 90° thick air that surrounded us as we watched the storm. We happily got our feet all soakin wet from the wildly falling globs of rain. We listened for the thunder and Freddy would say, "Hear that THUNDER! Not airplane!" We enjoyed the surprise of every flash of lightening and watched as a river of water rushed down our street. I thought of how enlivening it would be to float away on that little river with my face turned up, eyes closed, and smiling. I decided I wouldn't care where I ended up just as long as I had my man and my boy there with me.

Beautiful Winter Quarters

We watched natures show until the very last drop of rain had fallen and I thought about my mission. Nebraska has the best storms. Warm summer night storms. I love Nebraska and all the people who are there. I miss Nebraska and the smell of dirt roads mixed with sweet corn. I miss sitting in the light of the Temple at the Winter Quarters Cemetery and watching as the fire flies start shining their lights just as the sun is making its way down. I loved to sit and watch the fire flies dance in that very sacred place and think about the pioneers. I wanted to imagine them in the places I walked every day. They couldn't catch a break. Life was hard. Too hard and yet they were happy. As much as they lost, including their own flesh and blood, they were still happy. They were filled with the fire of the restore gospel of Jesus Christ. They had their sights on a promised land and the rich blessings of the temple. They didn't know how they would make it the rest of the way with the little bit they had...many with just a handcart....but they went. They knew the Lord would see them through and He did. He either brought them right into His glory or into the Salt Lake Valley.


The warm breeze, the cool wet rain and my reminiscing mind comforted me. I'm so sad to leave Pennsylvania behind. It's terrible to separate my sister and my son...they are so close. I will miss the beautiful trees that turn this place into an amazing work of art in the fall. I will miss Amish country and Temple trips. I will miss our ward and my friends. I will miss story hour and play group and gymboree. I will miss the people (and the food) of so many different cultures. I will miss the Philly accent, being so close to Pittsburgh and all of our family here in the East. As each day comes to an end and our exodus draws nearer I can think of less and less that I will NOT miss. I love it here and I don't want to leave.


But I am channeling my inner pioneer. I know that the Lord has called us to Utah, the land that my beloved pioneers sacrificed everything to build into a safe haven for all those seeking peace and freedom. Just like the pioneers we will have to sell/leave most everything behind. We don't have enough to make the move, we have no job or home waiting for us but we trust the Lord will provide for us along the way as we just continue moving forward with faith. If the Lord wants me in Utah then I will go and I will do everything I can to preserve what the pioneers left there. If it is the Lords will, I will raise my children on that sacred ground and teach them the fullness of the gospel and help them fulfill their responsibilities to the Lord. I know the Lord has a work for me to do. He has a plan for our family. I pray every day, as I did when I was a missionary, that I will "remember my purpose" in everything I do and never forget what I am on this earth to do.

Thank goodness for thunder storms...

A scene from my Nebraskan adventure